Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Down, down, then a little up

Went to the church after work to try and straighten out a task that will be my responsibility after the turn of the fiscal year in a couple of months. So far, I've been assisting and trying to learn it, but my memory fails me when a whole month goes by. They were having a dinner there, and then I was scheduled for a show rehearsal afterward. So my time to devote to this task was very limited.

My favorite [not] combination: Pressure and frustration. I simply couldn't remember how to do the damn task, despite all my notes. I just couldn't figure out how to start! So there I am at the desk, slogging away, people stopping by to say hi and "whatcha doin?" and then the person who did this job 2-3 years ago and considers himself an expert (on this and many, many other things) showed up with a big grin on his face and I thought, oh, shit, I'm never gonna get it done now. Sure enough, he said "Oh, great, the computer's on, I need to check something." And I'm trying to tell him, in a nice way, that I have to be here right now, it's the only chance I'll have to TRY and get this procedure down, and he sat right down in my chair, looked at what I'd done so far and basically told me I was doing it wrong. YES, DEAR, I FUCKING KNOW THAT. All I wanted was for him to get his skinny ass out of there and leave me to my private failure. Finally, I think he got the hint, but by then it was just too late. I sent my "partner" a quick e-mail to tell him I'd gotten absolutely nowhere, sorry, maybe we can try this again tomorrow night...

Then I never really got to eat dinner because the main course wasn't ready. They put some food out; the kids got first crack, which is fine because once you get them settled at a table to eat, they are out of the way, but time was tick-tick-ticking by and I only had until 7. All the other people in the show had dinner elsewhere; I was the only one who was still unfed. Pressure, frustration and hunger. Great combo. Finally I just took the bun with lettuce, tomato, a little onion and a few slabs of cheddar and ate it meatless. It held me, at least, but I had PAID for that dinner and kind of thought maybe I could steal a bit of my money back out of the basket. But by the time we got done at 9-ish, the food was long gone and so was the money, so maybe at the next dinner I'll only throw in half.

However, show rehearsal went well and was quite enjoyable. It lifted my spirits almost to the point that I could laugh at everything that had led up to it.

And I did get a nap after work so that helped.

I life feels like a garment that was sewed together in haste by an unskilled laborer and pulls at the seams...

1 comment:

PG said...

I like that last sentence.