Thursday, January 01, 2009

Volly vs. the Jehovah's Witnesses

Earlier today I was enjoying some sofa-spud time when the doorbell rang. More than one person from the neighborhood association had indicated they'd be dropping by for various wrap-up business, so a caller was no surprise. Unfortunately, the two well-dressed ladies were not anyone I recognized; they were brandishing copies of the Watchtower, which made me quite glad the screen door was securely locked.

"Good morning, ma'am, have you heard about the terrible disaster that has befallen Kingston, Tennessee?" They meant the coal-ash spill that is threatening the watersheds there. So, yes, I told them I'd heard about it.

"And, in your opinion, is it within the abilities of humankind to control disasters such as this?"

"Absolutely!" said I.

That stopped 'em in their tracks.

"Really?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am," I replied, with a big smile.

"Oh. I see. Well. We have some lovely copies of our publication, and would like you to accept them with our compliments."

"That's okay, I'm sure you can find someone else on this block who would be interested. Have a good day."

Are you proud of me? I am. I earned my scarlet "A" today.

13 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

You surely did!!!!!!!

Mike Haubrich, FCD said...

I think it odd that they would use a man-made disaster in that way. How do they expect God to fix that?

Good job, by the way.

Sleepy Scott said...

Well played!

Anonymous said...

You imagine that these ladies posed some sort of threat did you? So much so that you were thankful that your screen door was locked?

Stop... you are hurting my brain.

You're an idiot.

Nick said...

Well done. Now tell me how we are going to solve; Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, Somalian pirates, Zimbabwe, Israeli Palestinian conflict and the financial crisis affecting the world as well as law and order in your neighbor hood. Are you happy to walk the streets late at night on your own?

Volly said...

Wow, I've made the big time. 5 comments, two of them from hecklers!

No, Anonymous, I did not think the ladies were going to invade my home and attack me physically. My remark about the locked door was my way of indicating that I prefer concrete separations between myself and people with whom I have fundamental disagreements. It was symbolic.

Well, if I'm an idiot, perhaps you will come back and offer more pithy comments on my idiotic posts. Ah luuurve the attention.

Sir Nick of the Unpublished Profile, the question was not "how" humankind will solve these problems, just if we can. I believe we can. It may take time, and the solutions may not be permanent. I am quite confident that the question was posed in order to frame their argument that "only God" can solve natural disasters, as well as wars, crime, and recession. An inability to permanently solve problems on the part of humankind does NOT assume the existence of a deity.

And if, while walking the streets of my neighborhood at night, I encountered trouble, I would do exactly the same thing as you: DO MY BEST to deal with it. That's all anyone can do.

vjack said...

This is why you need to use Intense Debate for your comments - even if voting down the hecklers doesn't do much, it makes us feel better! Seriously though, you handled the situation well. Strangely, I am much less annoyed with the Watchtower crowd than the damn Baptists. I'm not sure why that is the case.

Volly said...

Probably because other than ringing your doorbell at THE MOST inopportune times, the Jehovah's Witnesses tend to be fairly unassuming and low-key. They pride themselves on keeping "apart" -- they have some theology about only 144,000 being allowed into heaven after the end times or some such, which makes me wonder why they even try to convert any newcomers, but anyway...

The Baptists, on the other hand, have made no secret of their desire to convert any and all that they encounter. While claiming to be "in the world but not of it," they are almost as pushy as those folks in the Arabian Peninsula, who want to push their "moral" agendas on the rest of us who couldn't care less.

Jessica Sideways said...

Yes, if you had to compare Christians to the monsters on Doctor Who, the Jehovah's Witnesses might be the Daleks and the Baptists would have to be the Cybermen. The population must be baptized, er, upgraded!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well said, and so much more politely than most of us would have said it, as well!

Ipecac said...

Well done. Now tell me how we are going to solve; Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, Somalian pirates, Zimbabwe, Israeli Palestinian conflict and the financial crisis affecting the world as well as law and order in your neighbor hood. Are you happy to walk the streets late at night on your own?

So, Nick, is it your position that humans cannot possibly solve these problems? You must have a narrow world view, a poor opinion of humanity and a stunning lack of knowledge of history.

If we "solved" World War 2, beat Polio and Smallpox, went to the moon, and invented the Internet, then we can solve these other problems without any supernatural means or the intervention of any fictional characters.

Mojoey said...

You handled it better than I ever could. The watchtower crowd always catches me when I am not ready to be caught. I'm never polite.

Volly said...

I was really, really hoping that they'd want to engage, because I was actually in the mood to expound a bit. I suspect they gave up so easily because it was time for lunch. I saw them join up with a good half-dozen other women about 15 minutes later and it looked like they were preparing to move on to another area.

Oh, well...another battle, another day.